do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
