oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
