wat bout pragnant strippers??
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
