Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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