Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
