why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
