Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
