Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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