i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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