Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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