Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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