whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
