whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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