No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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