You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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