We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
