This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
