if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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