Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
