I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
