Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
