I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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