she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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