My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
