this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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