Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
