So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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