I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
