The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
