I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
