dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
