hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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