Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
