Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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