You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
