hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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