just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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