I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
