Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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