omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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