It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
