I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
