I swear she didn't look like that last week.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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