I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
