Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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