yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
