How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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