are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
