Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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