im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
